Dancing Girls

We attended the Aggie basketball game at the Spectrum last night. Our son Dan and our 6 year old grandson Asher were with us. The half-time entertainment was provided by the "High Steppers", a dance group from Bear River High School. During the performance Asher leaned over to Dan and said:

"Dad...those girls make me nervous."

"Austraila" - The Movie

I asked two friends in Australia, what they thought of the movie. They were not overly impressed. Incredibly...both of them reported that their fathers were in Darwin during the first Japanese air-raid.

My friend in Adelaide offered superficial criticism:

"The movie wasn't about Australia...only about the Northern Territory."

"Look...I've seen lots of cowboy movies made in the USA, but I've never seen a cowboy actually shown brushing his teeth. I can't imagine what in the world the Australian director of this movie was thinking when he had Hugh Jackman, "The Drover", brush his teeth...was it to tell the world that OZ cowboys practice oral hygiene and have sweet smelling breath?"

He also said..."Then there was the camp-site bathing scene, where Jackman gives himself an upper body lathering, then pours a bucket of water over himself, failing miserably to rinse himself, but succeding only in wetting his pants...in which he presumably slept...if he was a cowboy. Who actually showers with his pants on? If they wanted to show what a stud Jackman really is they should have done the job right."

My friend the reporter in Melbourne had a more political point:

"Forgot to warn you that film Australia was a crock historically re this stolen generations/super racist theme. Someone finally found two Northern Territory aborigines who wanted compo for having been stolen. There was a court case. The judge eventually found:
a. there was NO policy in the Northern Territory to steal kids for racist reasons (as distinct from rescuing them from life-threatening squalor) and
b. one of the two 'stolen' kids as a baby had been left on an ant-heap by the mother (no kidding).
At highest level, the ex-governor of South Australia, Lowidja ODonohue, (aborigine) claimed to be a member of this 'stolen generation' and eventually admitted that her white father had taken her to a mission boarding school for an education (which obviously worked for her). And would you believe, there are MORE ab kids being removed from their parents by the govt now (for welfare reasons) than there were during the so-called 'stolen generation' period."

"Australia" - Bombing of Darwin

We went to the movie "Australia" Monday night. One of the key scenes was the WWII Japanese bombing of Darwin, the largest town in the north of Australia. I was asked if the portrayal was historically accurate. It looked overly dramatized to me, so I looked it up on the web. I was shocked!

The attack portrayed in the movie, occurred on 19 Feb 1942. I was just one year old at the time, but growing up in Australia, I certainly learned that the Japanese had attacked Australia at Darwin. It was historically important, since it was the first time that a foriegn power had invaded Australian shores, since it's settlement in 1788. What I did not know was that the Australian government had censored reports of the severity of the Darwin event(s) in order to prevent panic, or morale problems, among the Australian populace in the southern states.

For example...there were two separate attacks on Darwin on 19 Feb 1942. Between that date and 12 Nov 1943, the Japanese conducted 64 separate raids on Darwin. Who knew? I had no idea.

On 19 Feb 1942, 188 Japanese planes were launched against Darwin. There were 27 allied ships in the harbor...8 were sunk, the rest were badly damaged. It was the largest Japanese air attack since Pearl Harbor. The first two raids killed 243 Australians and allies...400 were wounded. 10 Australian fighter pilots managed to get airborne to mount a defense, but only one survived the first attack.

Local sources estimate that between 900 and 1,100 people were killed and many more injured during the 64 Japanese attacks. The Japanese reportedly lost 131 aircraft during these engagements.

What I did know about the history of Japanese attacks on Australia, was that Japanese midget submarines shelled Sydney Harbour during WWII, but that was more symbolic than militarily effective. What I did not know was that there were serious Japanese attacks much further south than I had ever imagined.

Two weeks after the first attacks on Darwin, the west coast town of Broome was bombed. That was Australia's second worst air-raid. Again...who knew? That attack killed 70 people and wounded another 40. Other Australian towns hit by the Japanese were Townsville (3 times), Katherine, Wyndham, Derby, Port Hedland, Exmouth Gulf, Millingimbi and Horn Island.

So the movie was historically accurate.

I do recall my uncles (mother's brothers) telling war stories one time. One of them was stationed up north near Exmouth Gulf. He said that he and a companion saw two Japanese sailors on a beach one night. It was well known that the Japanese were conducting reconaissance from submarines along the coast. They watched them for a while, then shot them. They said that they never reported the incident, because such events created more trouble than they were worth for enlisted personnel. The military tried to cover them up.

Snow Shovel

We had the first big snow storm of the season last Saturday. Bought a new snow shovel today. The sales lady noted that I had bought myself a top of the line shovel. I had to correct her..."Oh, it's not for me...it's for my wife...nothing but the best for the little woman."

I'm a real man!

What is sad about that story, is that it is true. Think I'll buy her a vacuum for Christmas.

8 Things Tag

I've been tagged by Angela

8 Shows I Watch

1. O'Reilly Factor
2. Hannity (and that other bloke)
3. History Channel
4. Animal Planet
5. Old movies
6. CSI
7. Mentalist
8. 24

8 Restaurants I Love

1. Market Street Grill
2. Hamilton's
3. Ruth's Chris
4. Fredrico's
5. El Sol...on a Monday
7. El Sol...on a Wednesday
8. El Sol...anytime

8 Things I Did Yesterday

1. Woke up on the Coral Princess in Fort Lauderdale, at the end of a 10 day cruise through the Panama Canal. It was tough duty...your Mom made me do it.
2. Hugged and kissed goodbye four lovely senior black ladies from New York, who were delightful dinner companions....Ann, Adele, Audrey and Delores. Those four have seen the world. I asked Ann how many cruises they had been on together. She just said "Two a year...at least."
3. Said goodbye to Allen and Lisa Smith, from Kentucky...our other dinner companions. Wanted to hug and kiss Lisa, but thought better of it. Lisa was a tall, drop-dead gorgeous blond who claimed to have been a teacher for 21 years. When I saw her in a bikini by the pool I knew she was lying to us. Her body was only 20 years old. Kathie And I were amazed to see her luggage...one small carry-on size bag. Kathie said that she did not need a large suitcase because bikinis do not take much room. Following a more up-close and personal encounter with Lisa by the pool one day, I reported to Kathie that Lisa was showing her age...I actually saw a few wrinkles and dimples. I'm real smooth...I know what women want to hear.
4. We were to fly stand-by to Atlanta, but we were on the bottom of the wait list. (Your pilot brother has no seniority you know) Everyone but Kathie and I boarded, then our names were called and we made it. It was really close.
5. Same story in Atlanta...only our chances looked even worse. At the last minute the gal at the gate said "They are closing the doors...if you run you can make it". She did not even give us a seat assignment. As we ran she yelled..."take any open seat you can find...there are two on row three in first class". So we flew home first class. I tell you Ang...that little brother of yours is OK...seniority or no seniority...he's a keeper.
6. We talked with a missionary in Atlanta who was flying home to Salt Lake on medical leave...by himself. He was seriously spooked about being alone...even more spooked because he had a girlfriend at home. He was a tall handsome kid...had been a boxing instructor at the U...should be able to punch his way out of a clinch. Hope he gets his back fixed.
7. We were picked up by Park'N'Jet at the Salt Lake Airport. When we got to the parking lot, the driver asked each passenger which area they parked in. Then he wanted a description of each car. The first person said "Grey Cadillac Crossover", the next said "Black Lexus". It got annoying, because we were in your Momma's old van. When it was my turn I said "Silver Cloud Rolls Royce". That got the attention of the remaining passengers. The driver said "We don't got one of those". I said "Neither do I...see if you can find an old grey van with an Aggie plate." He said "Got it!"
8. Weighed myself before I went to bed...it was not pretty. But it was worth it.

8 Things I look Forward To.

1. The next cruise.
2. Christmas
3. Retirement
4. Did I say retirement?
5. OK...retirement.
6. Following your Mother around the house. (her worst nightmare)
7. Buying roses for your Mother.
8. Loving your Mother, our children and grandchildren...forever.

8 Wishes

1. I'm with you Ang...I wish Obama was not the President-Elect
2. I wish either Sarah Palin or Mitt Romney was the President elect.
3. I wish "Californians Against Hate"...were against hate...ie not so hateful.
4. I wish San Francisco would slide into the Pacific.
5. I wish I didn't hate.
6. But I wish I had a hand gun...Nate is taking care of that for me (and your Mom)
7. I wish I could travel and do family history for the rest of my life....and shoot straight.
8. Did I say that I wish I was retired?

8 People I Tag

1. Kathie
2. Andy
3. Jeff
4. Shelly Babe
5. Nicole
6. Missy
7. Kimi
8. Shane

Big Bang

On Friday, November 21, while heading to work, I was involved in an auto collision. I was headed downtown past Utah State University, on cruise-control, at 40 mph, when a woman came off the USU campus, at the old library location and nailed me...or T-Boned me. She was attempting to cross the the highway to head east. A witness told the police that I did not have a chance. She reported that the driver did not stop at the stop sign...just accelerated out across the four lane highway and hit me broadside. The driver admitted that she did not look in my direction. Why not? Who knows, but you would think that she would have been extra careful, since she had a four month old baby with her. Remarkably, neither of them was hurt. But she was given a citation. Apparently that campus exit has been the site of many accidents and at least one death. USU ought to make it a right turn only exit.

When Jeff Miller, the auto-repair man, called to report on the condition of my Charger R/T...he said "You were hit really hard Tony...the impact even wrinkled the roof." The front right quadrant and right door were destroyed. He thought it was probably repairable.

I did not see the accident unfold. Most people say that such accidents happen in slow-motion...but I did not see anything until the BANG. After that I don't recall much. I was wearing my seat belt and the air bag deployed, so when I came around the car was full of smoke and two women were at my door asking if I was OK. I was not sure. I could not breathe and there was blood dripping off my fingers. Nate later suggested that the air-bag gasses probably contributed to my breathing problem. The blood looked worse than it was. The skin had been peeled back on the back of my hands...still don't know how.

I was trying to get out of the car when the police arrived...it was more difficult than I expected...things weren't responding normally. The police asked me to stay in the car until the paramedics arrived. I could hear conversation about my age and my difficulty breathing. I was telling them that I thought I was OK. They convinced me that it would be best under the circumstances if I was transported to the emergency room for observation. It was probably a good move, but it was a most uncomfortable ride. I was on a board with a neck brace, and I swear the ambulance had no shocks...and one paramedic was trying to stick an IV in my arm...which is never easy at the best of times. I was impressed that he did it.

Prior to that another police officer had talked with me. It was James Gale, a pilot and friend of Andy's. Kathie and I had been to James' home with Andy and Missy a few weeks before. He drove a six cylinder police version of the Charger. Mine was an R/T with a HEMI engine. So like boys with their toys, I said to James..."My Charger will go faster than your Charger James." He thought that was pretty funny. But last Friday, after determining that I was OK, or that I thought I was OK, James poked his head in the car and said "My Charger will go faster than your Charger Tony." Now that's funny.

The best part about the emergency room experience was the warm blanket. For some reason I was chilled. Kathie arrived, Steve and Dan came...and I was wheeled off to the x-ray room by a young tech who knew Steve. They took all sorts of chest images and at one point this young lady said "You know...you have really long lungs"...I responded..."You know... I have never had a girl tell me that before." She laughed and said...."I'm glad to see that you still have a sense of humor...It is obvious where your son gets his from."

Steve asked how I was feeling. It was hard to describe. I felt like I had had the stuffing knocked out of me. I just hurt all over. Steve suggested that it might be like the day after a really hard workout. That was appropriate. The doctor suggested it would only get worse, before it got better. He prescribed some pain pills. He was right.

Then George Knapp showed up. George is a friend from California, whom I met in Sydney in 1965. He and his wife Bonnie dropped in on us last year. George called last week to say that he would be in Logan on the following Friday and we had planned to get together. So When George arrived at the office, our receptionist Beth, informed him that I was in the Emergency Room. George stayed with us until I was released and then followed us home where we had a good chat...mainly about his experiences campaigning for Prop 8 in California.

Then I slept...and slept some more.

JACOB

Our grandson Jacob Nathan Wegener, son of Becky and Nate, spent a few days with us while his parents, two brothers, Jordan and Grayson, and grandparents Ray and Rita Minkler, went on a Disney Cruise.

Becky brought him to us on November 12. She stayed over that night and the next day to help Jacob make the adjustment. He did well...better than Becky we guessed. He obviously wanted his Momma that first day and there were a few tears as he looked for her. But Jacob adjusted...and Grandma Kathie and Poppa Tony adjusted. We actually had a great time together...but it really was a two (old) person assignment...we were a pretty good tag team.

Jacob is a delight. He has long blond hair and big blue eyes. He is an absolute clone of his Dad at the same age. We have the baby pictures to prove it. And he was into everything...he dumped Wheaties onto the floor twice...and Kathie's grits onto the floor one day. He did not like walking on grits barefoot very much. But you play...you pay. Much of the house was off limits, but he did not go exploring...he had to have one of us in sight most of the time.

What a sleeper!...in eleven nights he only woke one time. And what a drooler...his shirts were constantly wet with drool. We concluded that Jacob drooled enough that he really did not need to pee. But he did of course and we were retrained to diaper duty.

Jacob started walking while he was with us. I know...we are inspirational grandparents. But he wanted Poppa Tony to go walking, holding his hand of course. He would tug on a finger until I moved. He would not walk alone on cue. He would be holding on to someone or something one minute and then take off by himself. Five steps was his record. We would clap. He would stop and clap also, but that usually resulted in a flop to the bot, since his balance was not coordinated with handclapping.

As fun as those days were, we were really glad to see Becky again late on Saturday, November 22. Unfortunately Jacob was not. He would not give Becky the time of day. So parents, there is an emotional price to pay for leaving your children with others. You pay when you leave...your heart breaks...you pay when you return...your heart breaks again, when you are ignored, even rejected. We just had to smile...been there...done that.

Twilight: The Movie

Angie's blog is worth reading. It is instructive. I have lived with the twilight series since Kathie started reading them earlier this year. I succumbed to reading the first two...but strange as it may seem to women...I lost interest.

I recently overheard a conversation, between two women, at the Bear River Mental Health Department. (the location is possibly significant). They were discussing Twilight and the upcoming movie. They were passionate about it of course. I thought I would get into the spirit of the conversation and asked..."So ladies...are you Edward fans, or Jacob fans?" They responded in unison as if it was a really dumb male question..."Edward fans...of course!". I had to respond defensively... "Well...my wife is a Jacob fan".

The younger of the two women asked somewhat accusingly, "Have you read any of the Twilight series?" I had to admit that I had read two. She warmed up slightly and said "You know...I think that if men would read these books, they would understand women better." I thought to myself..."You have to be kidding!"

This is how I see it: Bella, a 16 year old, self described ordinary girl, meets Edward, a pasty white, ice cold, high school student, whom she thinks is the most handsome man in the world. He is actually 70 + years old...he's a vampire...he never sleeps, moves faster than a speeding bullet, and only eats and breaths to keep up appearances. He has no worries, his family (vampires all) have an unlimited source of income, and fast cars...and they have an unlimited source of bears, cougars, etc., in the Washington wilderness, which they hunt for blood.

Edward's only problem in life, is that he can't stand close proximity to Bella...why...because she smells really good...and he really wants to suck her blood...and kill all her classmates. Bella, of course does not know this, but when she finally discovers the dreadful truth, she is deeply moved...totally unconcerned...and completely smitten. Love triumphs over blood-sucking. And she has another friend who is a handsome 6'4" Indian who is a werewolf, whose life is ruined forever, because he loves Bella. It is a true love triangle...Bella, a vampire and a werewolf.

OK...I get it...what was I thinking?...NOW I understand women!

Weird Weather - 2008

2008 has been an unusual weather year, in Utah, yet we have seen little or no press concering this unusual pattern. But I'm a old gardener...I notice this stuff. I've grown a garden every year for about 40 years. I've seen it all...but this year was definitely different. Spring was the first sign that something was different. My peonies have always bloomed before Memorial Day. Peonies were once the flower of choice, with which to decorate graves. This year they did not bloom in time...they were at least two weeks late...maybe more. It was strange. It was different.

Did anyone else notice? Well, someone did. There was a brief reference on the news about this being a late spring...actually, the latest Spring on record, in Utah. I thought that was a big deal. Where was the press? The reality of this unique weather pattern was also made obvious in our apple orchard. We traditionally harvest at least 200 bushels. This year we picked three bushels..that's right...three. That is the lowest output ever. Some apple trees take a rest every few years, and sometimes a late frost damages blossoms...but this was different. It was weird.

Then I began to hear complaints from other gardeners about their tomato plants...they were not thriving. I had about 80 tomato plants, of all varieties...they seemed to be OK. Slowly it dawned on me that the larger varieties were not ripening. Each year I look forward to giving away literally buckets of tomatoes to neighbors. This year we did not give away a single tomato. To compound the problem, there was an early frost and I lost the entire crop. I tilled in a ton of green tomatoes. No big deal, but where's the press? Where is Global Warming when we need it? Bring it on!

Then there was early snow in Utah this Fall. How early? It was interesting to learn that the earliest recorded snowfall in Utah occurred in September, 1965...the month that I arrived in Utah from Australia. 2008 challenged that record. The Salt Lake Ski Areas had their earliest opening in years. Good for them, but where's the press...the same press which has predicted the demise of the Utah ski industry, due to Global Warming? This is a weird weather year. It certainly calls into question the concept of Global Warming.

People have been religiously preaching the dire effects of Global Warming since before 1980. If their wild predictions had come true, I think we would have noticed a few cities being underwater. You would think they might give old gardeners a little credit for a few intelligent observations. Like...since 1965...there has been no significant climate change in Utah...cycles maybe...but no evidence of gradual warming. This year may be different, but it is not warmer....Spring was not earlier...Fall was not later. It was pretty close to 1965 conditions. We hear repeated warnings from experts, that even 1 degree C increase in global temperature will have devastating global consequences... the poles will melt...oceans will rise...polar bears will drown...growing seasons will change. Of course, old gardeners might suggest that longer growing seasons might actually bless a lot of people?

The evidence is clear, that the climate has not changed here in Logan, Utah in 40 years. And I was in Australia last year, where weather data has been manipulated to "prove" that the average temperature has risen alarmingly by 1.5 degree C, in the past 100 years. Yet I was born there 68 years ago...and need I point out the obvious?..nothing has changed...not the rainfall...not the spring wild-flowers...not the ocean level...not the weather pattern. So who is fooling whom? When will the press begin to acknowledge the obvious truth? We've all been had! We continue to be had by enviromentalists and politicians, who apparently grow neither apples nor tomatoes.

Postscript: "Great Salt Lake shrinking looks to be at an end."
12 November 2008: Herald Journal

Why is the shrinking coming to an end? If Global Warming is an indisputable fact, surely the Great Salt Lake should have shrunk to its lowest level in modern history. The press blames "warm summer temperatures" for the shrinking and "cooler fall temperatures" for the correction. Brilliant observations!

"All summer and into the fall, warm temperatures kept evaporation humming, drawing down the lake to near near-record lows and exposing more shore than normal...the current lake level is 4,194 feet...the lake hasn't been this low since the 1970s. Some speculate it might slip past the record low of 4,191.35 set in 1963. But cooler temperatures this fall are finally bringing the shrinking to a stop...the lake has a reputation for having cyclical fluctuations, rising and falling at the whims of temperature, rainfall and other factors."

No kidding! But where is the indisputable evidence of Global Warming? Apparently the Utah climate in the 1960s, was almost the same as it was in 2008... late spring...early snows...low lake level. One does not need to be a Rocket Scientist to know that Global Warming is a myth! One only needs to be an old gardener.

Be Still, My Soul

The words to one of my all-time favorite hymns, were written by Katharina von Schlegel in 1697 and translated by Jane Borthwick who lived 1813-1897. I offer them here for your comfort during troubled times:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end

Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my sould: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Always remember...the Lord is on your side.

"Be still, and know that I am God" D&C 101:16

What Language Barrier?

Mormons are unique in many ways. For example, while flying home from Australia, the flight attendant was attempting to explain all the wonderful wines available to me. I said, "You know, I would think that United Airlines would have some of Australia's wonderful non-alcoholic wines available for passengers like me who don't drink". She thought I was joking. I explained that Australia really does make wonderful non-alcoholic wines. She looked a little confused and said with a smile: "You know...you are a really complicated man". It got more complicated for her when we refused tea and coffee.

By the way...a bloke at the temple asked us what airline we were flying on. When I said "United"...he responded..."Really? Don't you realize that United is a nursing home for flight attendants?" He was not far off the mark. One flight attendant told us she had been with United for 42 years.

Mormons are also unique in the number who speak a foreign language...and speak it fluently...because of missionary service in foreign countries. Our son Nate speaks Spanish fluently. That is a useful language, but we know some who speak obscure languages like Hmong or Trukese...spoken only on the Island of Truk.

I remember our eldest son Steve telling us an interesting story, when his Marine Corps Reserve unit was called up for Desert Storm. His company included men from Utah and Nevada. The company commander was required to report any special skills among his men. He reported that of his 150 men 91 spoke a foreign language. Headquarters wrote back saying that he must be mistaken. He was not...they were just Mormon boys who had served missions in foreign countries...and they spoke about 50 different languages between them.

Our son-in-law Shane Falslev, is a foreign language speaker. He served a mission in Taiwan. He speaks Mandarin Chinese fluently. Not only that, he also speaks the native Taiwanese language, which apparently very few foreigners master. Just how fluent Shane is was demonstrated to us during our recent trip to Australia.

There was a mall across the street from the Sydney Temple, where we ate a few meals. I was watching Shane as he approached a Chinese girl at one fast-food place. When he started talking to her in fluent Mandarin, her jaw dropped...she was speechless. She had one of those moments when the brain stops...brain cramp. She looked around helplessly, as if she was trying to attract attention from her co-workers, looked at Shane in disbelief...then started communicating in Mandarin. During the conversation Shane explained that he had lived in Taiwan. She asked if he spoke the native Taiwan language, so he started speaking that language. She was blown away. She started laughing and ran to tell her co-workers. This happened a few times.

The most remarkable experience occurred on our last day. We were at the Featherdale Animal Preserve, which was on the way to the airport. There were a couple of large tour groups...all speaking Mandarin Chinese. Shane opened conversations with a few people...and got the look...that great look of disbelief.

The conversation which was most amazing was one between Shane and a woman with a little girl, who were looking at a Koala bear. Shane was standing behind them just talking away. His accent is apparently so natural that the woman and little girl carried on a conversation with Shane without noticing anything different about his accent. They never turned to look at him...and never noticed that he was a weird white guy speaking perfect Mandarin. It was amazing.

Serendipitous or Spiritual Experiences?

I'm an old architect...employed by Design West. Back in 2000, Design West had a client…Jerroll Winget, who was a friend of Merrill Osmond. Merrill was based in Branson, Missouri. He had been asked by then LDS Church President Kimball, to go to Branson to “make friends for the Church”. He did. He had been performing in Branson with his brothers for ten years.

I was in our Salt Lake City office one day for a conference call with Merrill Osmond. Jerroll was present. The bottom line was that there were some business opportunities in Branson…Merrill asked Jerroll to come to Branson, with an architect. To sweeten the invitation, Merrill said that whoever chose to come would be invited to the Osmond Brothers' dinner show as guests of the Osmonds…and also invited to a couple of special events. One event was the baptism of Merrill’s business manager, Kevin Reno…the other was the very first reunion of the Joseph Smith Jr. family, which Merrill was helping to organize. My associate Richard Heindel and I decided to go… and we took our wives.

Some time prior to this event, Merrill had met Kim Smith Davis. It was the habit of the Osmond Brothers to greet fans in the foyer after each show. Kim approached Merrill in this setting. She informed Merrill that she was the great, great grand daughter of Joseph Smith Jr…and she had some questions about the mainstream LDS church…she did not want to join his church, but she wanted to understand some of the history…why some Saints went west to Utah, while others stayed in Nauvoo. Merrill obliged…Kim later joined the LDS Church.

Shortly thereafter, Kim felt compelled to organize a reunion of the descendants of Joseph Smith Jr. and Emma Hale Smith. It was a sensitive assignment. Most descendants of Joseph had grown up being advised never to mention their heritage…there was embarrassment…there were shattered relationships within the family…and animosity toward mainstream Mormonism. Merrill agreed to help Kim organize a reunion.

Merrill had received his own compelling spiritual prompting. He had a dream in which Joseph Smith appeared to him….told him that his descendants were hurting…he asked Merrill to help “heal my family”. So Kim and Merrill collaborated on a reunion. The reunion was held in the Hughes Family Theater…it was poorly attended, but we thought it was wonderful.

Kim Smith Davis was the MC…the invocation was given by Joseph Fielding Smith (Kim’s father)…Merrill told his story…Gracia Jones, the first member of Joseph’s family to join mainstream Mormonism, spoke of her experiences…and her discovery that there were over 400 descendants of Joseph living in Australia. Merrill and Gracia made pleas to the family to come together in unity and love…and pledged their love and support to that end.

There followed some role playing: Jason Hughes, a descendant of Newel Knight, read from family records about the Knight family and their love for Joseph Smith. Nancy Eppert, dressed as Emma Hale Smith, presented a moving monologue about Emma’s life. The Hughes Brothers re-enacted the scene in Carthage Gaol, while Ryan Hughes sang “A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief”…I don’t think that I have ever heard it sung better…or with more feeling. There was poetry and singing…and Kim closed the meeting. It was a very special experience. We were honored to be there.

Gracia’s words hit a chord with us. She said something like “Everyone here today was handpicked by the spirit of this family to be here.” We discussed this later, remarking that even though we were not part of the family, we somehow felt included in Gracia's prophetic pronouncement. What were we even doing there? There was a certain serendipity in our being present to witness this first reunion of the Joseph Smith Jr. family.

Kathie and I had the opportunity to meet Kim’s parents, Joseph Fielding and Sue Smith. We learned a lot about Kim. She was, on that very day, literally escaping from her husband, with her two children. It was a very tense, difficult time for the family. The Smiths were long-time members of the Temple Lot Group, the splinter Mormon group which owns/maintains the dedicated temple site in Independence, Missouri. The group had about 2,500 members. The Smiths were lovely people...and so proud of Kim. They were amazed by the transformation in their daughter since joining the LDS Church. “If you had known her before she joined the Church, you would not believe the change in her. That she could stand up there and conduct an event like this, is a miracle in itself.” Sue Smith confided to Kathie that she had had a dream herself, in which she was informed that there were big changes coming into her life. We have wondered about that over the years. We even stopped at the Temple Lot one year, during a visit to Independence, and asked the attendant if he could direct us to Joseph and Sue Smith. He acted as if he had never heard of them.

I had a video camera and actually videoed the Smith Family reunion. Without a tripod it was not easy…and without any real talent at filming it was not very professional. So I did nothing with the video for some time. We showed it to our study group, but that was it. Some time later I asked Scott Harris, who was a high school instructor in video production, if he could edit my video…take out some of the jiggles…insert some titles, etc. He agreed…but he did not do anything. It became almost a joke. Every time I ran into Scott, I would ask if he was ever going to finish editing my video. Years went by.

Scott’s wife Laura is a photographer...she photographs and videos weddings. Kathie met her at a wedding, liked her work and engaged her to photograph our family at our annual reunion in August. Since one can rely on women to get things done, Kathie asked Laura to apply pressure on Scott regarding the Joseph Smith DVDs. Within the month the job was completed. By the first week in September, 2008, we had 25 DVDs to distribute.

Then the problem was how to distribute the DVDs…to whom?…where?. I immediately thought of Gracia Jones who lives in St. George or Hurricane. But I needed her email address…or phone number.

Then I flew off to Sydney with Shane, Andy and Cody who were assigned to lay carpet in the Sydney LDS Temple. It was a pure whim on my part. Because Andy is a commercial pilot I can fly anywhere inexpensively. For those who don't know, I was born in Perth, Australia...joined the LDS Church in 1961. Sydney is where I served a mission in 1964/65...where Kathie and I met...where we have a lot of friends.

We were assigned to the Temple Patron Housing. We were told that there were other people staying there who were making a documentary about Joseph Smith’s descendants in Australia. We met a couple of women that first day. I asked if they were “with the movie group”…they were…so I asked if the movie was based upon Gracia Jones’ research?...yes…did they know her email address?…yes they did. Wow! That was easy. So I emailed Gracia…she emailed back, saying that she would be happy to help. I noticed that she had copied Michael Kennedy. I did not know who he was.

A couple of days later we were invited to a special showing of the movie "Emma". The gentleman who introduced the movie to the mainly LDS crowd was Michael Kennedy. Wow! Another surprise. He turned out to be the president of the Joseph Smith Jr. and Emma Hale Smith Historical Society. After the movie I asked him for his card, telling him that I would like to send him a DVD, which he might appreciate.

The very next morning I met the woman who had given me Gracia Jones’ email address. She turned out to be the wife of Michael Kennedy. This was getting weird...I could not believe it...we were all living in the same building. I thanked Sister Kennedy for giving me Gracia’s email address and explained that I had received a response from Gracia…and that Gracia had agreed to help me distribute the DVDs of the first Joseph Smith Jr. reunion. I told her that I especially wanted to get DVDs to Kim Smith Davis and her parents. She smiled and said “Come with me”. She led me to the kitchen where a group was gathered for breakfast. She said…”Kim, this gentleman would like to speak with you.” It was Kim Smith. My head was spinning. What was happening?

Kim and I talked. She divorced her husband shortly after the reunion in 2000 and dropped the name Davis. She introduced me to her two children, now teenagers. She is now living in Nauvoo, Illinois. I asked about her parents. Her mother Sue joined the LDS Church...her dream came true... but her father Joseph has not…not yet. Kim was actually embarrassed by the poor turnout at the 2000 reunion…I'm not sure that she was happy to discover that someone had recorded the event. But I suggested that her 2000 reunion was a wonderful “gentle beginning”, from which great things have evolved.

I still cannot believe it. I had goose bumps on goose bumps. I flew to Australia for five days, on a whim, and found the very family which I needed to locate in order to distribute the Joseph Smith Jr. reunion DVDs.

How does one explain this? It certainly cannot be explained in any rational, pragmatic sense. It was definitely serendipitous…more likely spiritual. Time will tell. Kathie even asked “Are you sure that you do not have any Smiths in your Australian family lines?” Since I am a family history nut, I had better check.

After writing this entry, I woke in the middle of the night with the strong impression that I should not equivocate. Rather, I should testify boldly that this entire series of events is clear evidence of the hand of the Lord in our affairs here on earth.

Five Days Down Unda

Shane Falslev, our son-in-law, (husband of Angie) has a carpet laying business in Cache Valley. He must be good, because for the past eleven years he has been invited to lay carpet in LDS temples around the world. He was recently asked to take a crew to the Sydney Temple. Our son Andy volunteered to go with him. Andy is a commercial pilot with Sky West, but he has worked for Shane before and chose to take a week off. One of the great perks about being a commercial pilot is that Andy can fly just about anywhere in the world for free…or close to it. The really best perk is that Andy’s parents get to fly free also. So I invited myself. What a deal!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008: Andy planned out our day…stand-by to Los Angeles…so we took an 11:00 AM flight to ensure that we could make the 10:30 PM flight to Sydney. No problem. Andy gave me his first class ticket and sat in the back of the bus. What a son! We arrived in Los Angeles with 10 hours to spare. Big problem. We could not check-in for the Sydney flight for six hours. The real problem was that Shane had asked us to take two of his tool boxes, because we were travelling light, but allowed to check two bags each. Because we were flying stand-by to Sydney we did not check our bags straight through. That was a mistake; we were stuck with heavy tool boxes, could not get boarding passes, therefore, we could not get past the ticketing gates. So we rented a car.

Jill Smith, our travel agent, (and Kathie) lined up a car for us, from some off-line rental company…$47 for the day. There are probably pros and cons going that way, but personal attention is a real pro. The one person in the trailer office was very friendly…she gave us a Chrysler Sebring convertible. We went to the beach…ate Argentinean empanadas from a street vendor…snoozed in a park…it was a tough day. As with Kathie in Pittsburgh, I had my own “welcome to the big city” experience when I went to the public rest room at the park…but we won’t talk about that.

The flight to Australia was tough. First class seats allowed us to sleep in comfort most of the way. I’m starting to really appreciate Andy…he’s the man! We lost Thursday somewhere.

Friday, September 26, 2008: We learned something at the Kingsford Smith International Airport, in Sydney. As dual US/Australian citizens, we were advised to enter and depart Australia on our Australian passports…and re-enter the US on our US passports. There was no hassle…just friendly advice.

We rented a car. Jill Smith did it again. $152 for the week. The gal behind the Hertz counter was again very friendly. She asked where we were staying in Sydney. We did not know, so we gave her my step-mother Margo Wegener’s address. Then the gal asked…”Are you going to the temple?” “What? How did you know that?” She apparently noticed Andy’s CTR ring…and she was Maori. Mormons and Maoris are everywhere! She gave us a hot Toyota four door sports car…real zippy.

Problems arose with the vehicle immediately. The steering wheel was on the wrong side. On that first day I attempted to enter the car from the wrong side four (4) times…actually made it into the seat twice. It is always a shock to discover that the steering wheel is gone. Andy noted that it is also disturbing to look at the car next to you on the freeway and discover that there is no-one in the (US) driver’s seat. It was disturbing. The next day I only tried to get in on the wrong side once. Quick learner.

Kathie will appreciate that I turned on the windshield wipers numerous times…instead of the turn signal. Some idiot reversed the locations. I’m a slow learner on that one…never quite got over it.

I asked Andy to drive at the airport, but he declined, suggesting that he would do better as a navigator. Sure! He was immediately lost… I took a wrong turn…missed a freeway entry…we stopped to regroup. After that we were a pretty good team. We even found Margo’s home in North Strathfield without any problem…and we arrived at the temple just minutes before Shane and Cody pulled in. They were met at the airport by a Church employee.

Margo is still Margo…now 84…and pretty sharp…except that she repeats herself frequently…but at 84 that’s her prerogative. She was pleased to meet Andy, whom she thought was “bloody handsome”. She said…”too bad I’m not a lot younger”. We left Margo with a three ring binder with our latest family photos.

Our accommodations were at a motel which was purchased by the Church for patron housing. Since the temple was closed for repairs there were no patrons, but there were other guests. One group was from Florida…LDS musicians who were performing somewhere. The other group was with a movie company…working on a movie about the descendants of Joseph Smith in Australia. I asked if the movie was based upon Gracia Jones’ research…it is. They gave me Gracia’s e-mail address, so we could contact her about our video of the First Reunion of the Joseph Smith Jr. Family. Gracia responded saying that she would help me distribute the CDs upon my return.

The boys, Shane, Andy and Shane’s nephew Cody Creech, went right to work. It is hard work. They were jet-lagged and exhausted at the end of the day. Back at the housing the boys were entertained by laughing kookaburras and warbling magpies.

We were told that there are big changes coming to the temple complex. The temple is actually being downsized to a mini temple. The maintenance personnel have been trimmed from four to one, as of Jan 31…when a new Presidency will take over. And all 40 positions at the Area Church Offices will be transferred to New Zealand.

Saturday, September 27, 2008: The guys worked all day while I worked on Family history…in the temple. It can’t get much better than that. Talked with Alan Murrin…met the Temple Recorder…John Parton…grandson of the Stake Patriarch, when Kathie and I were in Sydney in 1964/65.

Sunday, September 28, 2008: We attended Church at the Greenwich Ward, where Kathie and I first met; it was a special experience, marred only by one speaker who was a BYU co-ed who used BYU football hysteria as a metaphor in her talk…made Andy quite uncomfortable. I was glad that Kathie was not present. The highlight was meeting Babe Enoka (Williams) who was leading the music. Babe abd I used to sing together in a quartet...Babe, Rakapa Parata, Les Young and I. Met Howard Jeffree again. He offered to take me touring tomorrow.

I actually tripped on the steps going into the Greenwich Ward. Told Andy that this is where I “fell” for his mother too.

Following Church we drove out to Manly Beach, where Andy was the only one to brave the cold water…the body surfing was great. We had planned to drive across the Sydney Harbor Bridge, but the traffic was so heavy that we gave up the idea. Driving in Sydney is much like driving in Pittsburgh…tunnels and all…just much bigger.

Monday, September 29, 2008: Today is the 43rd anniversary of my departure from Australia. Where has the time gone? And how interesting is it that I am back in Sydney, from whence I departed. I’m sitting here looking at the gum trees (eucalyptus), watching the birds, which this morning include parrots and pink and grey galahs…and listening to all the sounds. I love this place.

The boys went off to work and Howard Jeffries picked me up at 8:00 AM. I knew Howard in Sydney back in 1964/65. He was at the dinner which Alan Murrin hosted for us last year. He became an architect and spent the last half of his career working for the Church. He is now retired. He recently moved and now attends the Greenwich Ward. We drove the “loop” road, which took us out into the country. I enjoyed the beautiful OZ trees. We visited Max Maine, who was the architect in charge of the Australian Building Program in 1964/65. Max is now in his eighties, living with his daughter. He gave me a copy of his personal history. Howard bought me a copy of an Australian classic "A Fortunate Life" by A. B. Facey...saying that it was a must-read for a bloke from Perth.

Howard helped us get tickets for a special showing of “Emma” at the Fox Theatres in Sydney. The “National Tribute Band”…the musicians staying at the Patron Housing…gave a concert ahead of the movie. They tied their music to the early Mormon experience. The movie was marvelous…certainly helped our understanding of and appreciation for Emma Hale Smith. I met Michael Kennedy, who is President of the Joseph Smith Jr. and Emma Hale Smith Historical Society...asked for his card so that I could send him one of my Joseph SMith Reunion DVDs.

Doug and Robin Hann were at the movie. It was good to see them again. I would like to spend more time with them.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008: The boys had hoped to be done by today, but the job took most of the day to complete. I had promised Margo that I would bring the crew over to meet her so we did that before dinner. When I told Joe Cicli (main temple engineer) that I was taking the crew to meet my step-mother…he looked at me carefully and said …”How OLD is she?” That cracked up the crew.

Wednesday, November 1, 2008: We had some spare time this morning so we went to the Featherdale Animal Preserve, on the way to the airport. The flight home was fast…and first class. We had a 100 + mph tailwind and arrived an hour early…in 13.25 hours. We slept for 7 hours straight…watched a couple of movies and read…and ate lobster. We arrived in Los Angeles 4.5 hours before we left Sydney…now that’s fast.

So we had a fast, furious and fun few days in Sydney. It was great!

The Great Plan of Salvation

Yesterday Dan Bachman, one of the truly great gospel teachers in my experience, taught a Sunday School lesson, out of "Teachings of the Presidents" (Lesson 17), which was particularly memorable for two reasons:

1. It was his last lesson. Dan has a new assignment as counsellor to the president of the Logan Temple.
2. The lesson took me back to 1961 when I met two missionaries of the LDS Church in Australia...and they taught me about the restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ...and the great Plan of Salvation.

As Dan talked my mind went back to that special experience. Was it the story of Joseph Smith and his first vision which captured my attention? Was it the coming forth of the Book of Mormon? Was it the presentation of the Plan of Salvation? I had to conclude that for me, it was without doubt the Plan of Salvation...which in reality encompasses the entire Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Religious discussions with my student friends, while interesting, were never compelling. There were always too many questions...and never an answer to the age old question...who will be saved in the end? What about little children? What about those who never heard of Christ in this life? Most of my friends were Catholics, and while I admired them for their commitment to God and family, it was obvious that I was a lost soul from their perspective.

So following Dan's lesson I asked Paul Norton, who served as a Mission President in Chicago, what was his experience and that of his missionaries, in that regard. He answered quickly..."It was the Plan of Salvation which was that special spiritual experience which led people to baptism". He added "I interviewed a lot of people before their baptism. It was amazing to consistently hear people say..."when the missionaries taught me the Plan of Salvation, it was as if I had heard it all before...it rang true...I wanted it to be true...I hoped it was true...for the first time in my life, everything made sense"."

In short form, the Plan of Salvation (of Redemption, and of Exaltation), as revealed by the Prophet Joseph Smith, is as follows:

We are all children of God.
He is literally our Father in Heaven.
Our individual intelligences have always existed.
The Father created us as spiritual beings...intelligences clothed with spirit bodies.
Jesus Christ was the first born in the Spirit.
There were many noble and great spirits.
Lucifer was among them.
God the Father instituted a Plan for the advancement of His spirit children.
The plan was presented to us in a great council of all spirits.
The Plan involved us coming to an earth, obtaining a physical body, being tested, dying, resurrecting and returning to our Father as immortal beings.
Jesus was the creator of this earth.
We were to be given moral agency...freedom to choose good over evil.
It was obvious that all would sin...and fall short of the perfection necessary to return to our Father.
The Father's plan required that one would need to go to earth to atone for the sins of the world. Jesus volunteered to implement the Father's Plan...the Atonement...and the Resurrection.
Even so, it was apparent that some would be lost, because we were to have choice.
Lucifer presented a plan which would guarantee that all would be saved...if the glory could be his.
Lucifer's plan was attractive to many...it involved giving up our agency, but it was safe.
Our Father rejected Lucifer's plan and accepted Jesus' eternal offering.
There was war in heaven.
Lucifer...and one third of the host of heaven were cast down to earth.
Their punishment was to never have a physical body.
Their commitment was to tempt and torment man...to thwart the Father's Plan.
The Father ensured that His children received guidance through Prophets...and angels.
Jesus , being one with the Father (Elohim), was the Jehovah of the Old Testament
Jesus was born of Mary in the meridian of time.
He was the literal Son of God
He was the only begotten (of God) in the flesh
Jesus grew into manhood without sin...the only such man to ever live on earth.
At age 30 he commenced his ministry.
He did only the will of his Father.
He testified of his Father...that his Father sent him
In his great intercessionary prayer he said: "This is life eternal, that they might know thee, the only true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent."
He implemented the eternal Atoning sacrifice.
He took upon himself the sins of the world through unspeakable pain and suffering.
He suffered himself to be slain upon the cross.
He took up his body on the third day.
As a resurrected being he showed himself first to Mary saying: "Touch me not, for I am not yet ascended unto my Father, but go unto my brethren and tell them that I go unto my Father, and your Father, unto my God and your God."
He then showed himself to his Apostles and then to thousands.
He ascended to his Father...and stands by his side to this day.
Jesus was the first fruits of the resurrection.
Because of Jesus, ALL will be resurrected...the just and the unjust.
Jesus promised to send the Holy Ghost.
The Holy Ghost is the messenger of the Father and the Son...the Comforter.

The apostle Paul greeted the Saints of his day as follows: "Grace be with you, and peace, from God our Father and his Son Jesus Christ." That marvellous salutation incorporates the core of the Father's Plan. "Grace" in this context refers to the Atonement of Jesus Christ. ALL will be resurrected through Christ...but only those who accept Jesus as the Christ, who exercise faith in him, who are willing to humble themselves before him and repent of their sins, and be baptized, will be made perfect through the Atonement...and return to the presence of the Father. It is through Christ that we are saved...after all we can do. Salvation in this context refers to returning to the presence of our Father and the Son. Jesus intends to take the truly humble by the hand, and through his Grace, present them to his Father ...pure, and holy, even perfect.

"Grace" in another important context, is an enabling power...power to help each of us deal with the trials of this life, through our faith in Christ. Thus Paul's salutation is a sweet blessing of Power and Peace...in this life...and Salvation in the world to come.

And what about that big question? What about all those who never heard of Jesus in this life? What about the Saviors admonition that we can only enter the Kingdom of heaven through baptism? The grand answer is that ALL will have equal opportunity to learn of Christ and the Father's Plan. All will have the opportunity to exercise their agency. All will have opportunity to repent and be baptized...if not in this life, then in the life to come. "All who will come, may come, and partake of the waters of life freely. But all who will not come, the same are not compelled to come..."

Still...ALL will be resurrected...unto varying degrees of Glory...the highest being...in the presence of God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Those who would not be comfortable in their presence will dwell in a kingdom in which they are comfortable. Jesus said: "In my Father's house are many mansions...if it were not so, I would have told you".

Little children are automatic heirs of Salvation...and do not need baptism.
Those born without the capacity to comprehend, are heirs of salvation without baptism.
Those who would have accepted Christ had they been taught of Christ in this life are heirs of Salvation...but require baptism.

Mormons have taken on the immense challenge of identifying their ancestors and baptizing them vicariously "for the dead" in temples which are now scattered throughout the world. I am just one of an army doing this work. It will continue to be my passion until I can no longer do it. Mormons will continue to expand this grand work until the Lord himself comes to accept their offering in righteousness.

It was this grand Plan of Salvation, which captured my attention in 1961. I thought then...it would be wonderful if it is true...I began to hope that it was true...today I can testify that it is true.

The Real Culprits in This Meltdown

INVESTOR'S BUSINESS DAILY
Posted Monday, September 15, 2008 4:20 PM PT

Big Government: Barack Obama and Democrats blame the historic financial turmoil on the market. But if it's dysfunctional, Democrats during the Clinton years are a prime reason for it.

Read More: Business & Regulation. Obama in a statement yesterday blamed the shocking new round of subprime-related bankruptcies on the free-market system, and specifically the "trickle-down" economics of the Bush administration, which he tried to gig opponent John McCain for wanting to extend. But it was the Clinton administration, obsessed with multiculturalism, that dictated where mortgage lenders could lend, and originally helped create the market for the high-risk subprime loans now infecting like a retrovirus the balance sheets of many of Wall Street's most revered institutions.

Tough new regulations forced lenders into high-risk areas where they had no choice but to lower lending standards to make the loans that sound business practices had previously guarded against making. It was either that or face stiff government penalties. The untold story in this whole national crisis is that President Clinton put on steroids the Community Redevelopment Act, a well-intended Carter-era law designed to encourage minority homeownership. And in so doing, he helped create the market for the risky subprime loans that he and Democrats now decry as not only greedy but "predatory."

Yes, the market was fueled by greed and overleveraging in the secondary market for subprimes, vis-a-vis mortgaged-backed securities traded on Wall Street. But the seed was planted in the '90s by Clinton and his social engineers. They were the political catalyst behind this slow-motion financial train wreck. And it was the Clinton administration that mismanaged the quasi-governmental agencies that over the decades have come to manage the real estate market in America.

As soon as Clinton crony Franklin Delano Raines took the helm in 1999 at Fannie Mae, for example, he used it as his personal piggy bank, looting it for a total of almost $100 million in compensation by the time he left in early 2005 under an ethical cloud. Other Clinton cronies, including Janet Reno aide Jamie Gorelick, padded their pockets to the tune of another $75 million. Raines was accused of overstating earnings and shifting losses so he and other senior executives could earn big bonuses. In the end, Fannie had to pay a record $400 million civil fine for SEC and other violations, while also agreeing as part of a settlement to make changes in its accounting procedures and ways of managing risk.

But it was too little, too late. Raines had reportedly steered Fannie Mae business to subprime giant Countrywide Financial, which was saved from bankruptcy by Bank of America. At the same time, the Clinton administration was pushing Fannie and her brother Freddie Mac to buy more mortgages from low-income households. The Clinton-era corruption, combined with unprecedented catering to affordable-housing lobbyists, resulted in today's nationalization of both Fannie and Freddie, a move that is expected to cost taxpayers tens of billions of dollars.

And the worst is far from over. By the time it is, we'll all be paying for Clinton's social experiment, one that Obama hopes to trump with a whole new round of meddling in the housing and jobs markets. In fact, the social experiment Obama has planned could dwarf both the Great Society and New Deal in size and scope.

There's a political root cause to this mess that we ignore at our peril. If we blame the wrong culprits, we'll learn the wrong lessons. And taxpayers will be on the hook for even larger bailouts down the road. But the government-can-do-no-wrong crowd just doesn't get it. They won't acknowledge the law of unintended consequences from well-meaning, if misguided, acts.

Obama and Democrats on the Hill think even more regulation and more interference in the market will solve the problem their policies helped cause. For now, unarmed by the historic record, conventional wisdom is buying into their blame-business-first rhetoric and bigger-government solutions. While government arguably has a role in helping low-income folks buy a home, Clinton went overboard by strong-arming lenders with tougher and tougher regulations, which only led to lenders taking on hundreds of billions in subprime bilge.Market failure? Hardly. Once again, this crisis has government's fingerprints all over it.

Cattle Duffers (Rustlers)

Missy's father, Scott Winslow, gave us a great book..."Outback Heroes: Australia's Greatest Bush Stories", by Evan McHugh. It includes a story about Harry Redford, whose claim to fame is that he was Australia's most famous "duffer" (cattle rustler). In 1870, he stole 1,000 head of cattle in Queensland, and with two associates drove them south to Adelaide, a distance of 1,500 K, through previously unexplored territory. It was an epic journey. He was eventually arrested in New South Wales and tried in Queensland, two and a half years after the event. The jury acquitted him, even though the prosecution produced clear evidence of his guilt. The judge was furious. Apparently this was not an uncommon outcome in early Australia, founded as it was by a convict class.

The author explains that Redford had stolen the cattle from land owned by absentee landlords in England. They owned fifteen (15) stations (ranches) and thousands of cattle in Queensland. In fact, when police informed the station managers that 1,ooo of their cattle had ended up in Adelaide as steaks, they scoffed in disbelief. They had so many cattle that 1,000 had not been missed in over a year. So public sentiment was not always on the side of landowners, especially the absentee type. One judge, in a duffing case, complained when the jury returned the following verdict..."Not guilty, but he needs to return the cattle". The judge was enraged by the jury's impertinance and sent them back to continue deliberations. The jury returned with a revised verdict..."Not guilty...and he can keep the bloody cattle." Ah...that's the Australia that I love. It's a great read.

Pole Beans

I've said before that I love my vegetable garden. We have always planted pole beans. They stand over 7 feet tall. They look great. In recent years, we have cut production down to one 50 foot row of beans. That is still way too much, because picking beans is a real pain. Kathie bottles them on occasion, but one batch produces more than we can eat in a year. Every year at this time I wonder why we plant beans. If they are not picked every two days they get "big and gross" as Kathie says, and I throw half of them away. We do share the harvest with neighbors, but I think I grow beans just to keep me humble. There is a metaphor for life in the effort. Only those who have picked pole beans will understand.

I've never seen anyone pick a row of beans perfectly. The little suckers hide. No matter how careful one is, someone else can come along behind you and find a whole bunch more. I just can't believe that I can be so thorough, then look back down the row and see beans hanging in plain sight. What's with that? I spend an hour picking, and in that time it looks like they need to be picked again. Kathie has often walked along the row behind me picking beans, making smart remarks about my harvesting abilities. It's a frustrating job. It's annoying. I understand why our children so disliked picking beans. Well...our children (with the exception of Andy) hated the garden, or any yard work, for that matter. The fact that I always expected the job to be done perfectly probably did not help. And to top it all off, it seems like we fight a running battle with bugs which cut the leaves in the spring and eat beans throughout the summer. Left without treatment, the bugs will kill the entire crop before the end of summer. Even if we dust regularly, the bugs will leave some beans disfigured so that more must be discarded.

But that speaks to the human condition. No matter how hard any of us try, we will not get through the summer of our lives...perfect. We will all make mistakes...no-one is perfect. Before the final harvest, we will all have faced personal battles...our own weaknesses...or the trials of life...or both. There was only one who ever lived who was perfect. Fortunately our Father in Heaven does not expect us to be perfect. He wants us to give it a good try, but he knew long before we came to this earth that we would fall short of perfection. So He came up with a magnificent Plan for our Salvation. His Son volunteered to implement the key part of the Plan. The Atonement wrought by Jesus the Christ satisfies the demands of justice. Based only upon the condition of our humble acceptance of Him as our Savior, and sincere repentance, He intends to take each of us by the hand, at some future day, and present us to His Father, pure and holy, and blameless...even perfect. Whereas, none of us can harvest beans perfectly, the Savior did not fail in His assignment...and none will be discarded.

So maybe I will continue to grow pole beans. They may remind us to be humble...more accepting of the human condition...more willing to love each other...more willing to love the Master Gardener, who loves us more than any of us can imagine.

The Real Political Problem

Last Sunday, a young couple, who were new to our Ward, spoke in Church. As part of that tradition, they were asked to tell the Ward members a little about themselves. The wife explained that she was a city girl...her husband was from a cattle ranch in Montana. She said that when he took her home to the ranch, she was absolutely stunned...she had no idea that people still lived like that...his family were cowboys...ranchers. There lies the problem; it is just a shadow of the larger problem which plagues politics in the USA today.

I was once part of the problem myself. When I arrived in Utah, from Australia in 1965, I must admit that I was surprised to see real indians...and cowboys...men and boys in cowboy boots and big cowboy hats. From my perspective it was as if they were "dressing up" or "playing a part"...it was hard to take them seriously..."you mean you dress like that every day?". Well, yes they do, as I discovered. Out in Wyoming there is only one significant difference between a cowboy from the 19th century and a cowboy from the 21st century...one rode a horse and carried a rifle in a scabbard...the other drives a pick-up truck, with a rifle hung in the back window. Other than that, nothing much has changed...they think pretty much alike. Freedom and values like fierce independence and self-reliance still rule.

When our son Nate served an LDS mission in New Your City...speaking Spanish...he actually found New Yorkers who had never heard of Utah. Some even asked what country Utah was in. Some had such limited education and sense of place, that they actually thought New York City WAS the United States...that New York City was the beginning and end of it. There's obviously a serious problem there. But for many eastern Americans the United States still ends at the Misssissippi. And it is still a fact, in every day language, that Chicago is located in the "mid-west"...the West is everything beyond the Mississippi...and it is still largely unknown to the liberal elite who refer to the Great Plains states as "fly-over" states.

Even more difficult to believe, there are people in the big cities who have no idea where meat comes from...or where milk comes from. Many have no idea that there are millions of good people in the "fly-over" states producing the food that ends up in the stores which they frequent in the big cities. Here in Logan, we have had foriegn students from Utah State University stop by, to ask if they could pick apples in our orchard. They had never seen an apple on a tree. That is surprising to anyone who lives at the supply end of society... closer to nature. In a previous blog I noted that I grow a vegetable garden. Many do in small towns. I was once told "you can trust a man who grows a vegetable garden." That must be because being close to the dirt produces a certain primal appreciation of nature; a connection with the natural cycles of life...which is reality.

But it's not the less educated who pose the greater problem. In my previous blog about Presidential Politics, I said that Barack Obama lives in different USA than I. I believe it. THAT IS THE PROBLEM.

Obama is an educated man, an attorney even. However, I would bet that even he grew up with a limited view of the USA. He has lived and worked most of his life in Chicago. I would bet that until his recent exposure to national politics, if he could tell you where Montana was located, or Utah, or Idaho...he would have had absolutely no idea what made a small town westerner tick. He would not be able to relate to the experience of growing up in a small town where everyone knew everyone, where generations farmed the same plot of ground, where one friend's dad was the mayor, another's was the preacher...where people trusted each other and helped each other...where no-one depended on government for anything... where no-one locked a door to anything...where patriotism was the unquestioned norm...where people celebrated the 4th of July together...and proudly pledged allegiance to the flag ...even died for it...and families prayed together. Barack Obama would not be able relate to their life-style and values, just as we cannot relate to the values of a man who can sit in a church for twenty years, while his minister preaches hatred and vitriole like "God Damn America!"

So when John McCain announced Governor Sarah Palin, of Alaska, as his running mate...one segment of the country said "YES! YES! YES!" because they could immediately relate to her...she was part of their USA...another segment said "WHAT?...Where in the hell is Alaska?" and "What does she know about anything? She's from a small town...she was educated at the University of Idaho for Pete' sake? Where is Idaho anyway? How could Idaho or Alaska produce a person of substance who knows anything about anything?"

And that is just from the left-wing US media elite. Some, so-called news people, claimed that they even laughed in their newsrooms, at the announcement of Sarah Palin. Eastern liberal sophisticates, are annoyed that McCain would select anyone whom they had not approved...someone other than their social equals...Palin didn't go to the right schools, she shoots guns for heavens sake, she knows how to gut and dress an elk...worst of all...she has five children...one born with special needs...and she did not have an abortion. To them, the selection of Palin is an affront to their view of the USA...and their values.

I think they are all about to get an education about what really makes America great. Some of us can hardly wait to hear Sarah Palin tonight...and to hear her debate Joe Biden in the future. As a Mormon I find it interesting that I still don't know what religion Sarah Palin is, or if she has any religion at all. It does not matter to me. What matters is that she and her husband have their heads screwed on. They are our kind of people. They live in our USA. What was really impressive, was Sarah Palin's response to media questions about her daughter. "How did you and your husband deal with the discovery that your 17 year old daughter was pregnant." "We handled it as any other American family would...with love."

Presidential Politics

My friends and family in Australia are watching the political process in the USA with great interest. Having been raised in Australia, I suspect that most Australians would find it interesting, even romantic, that a black man in the USA could rise to the top of his political party...and possibly become President. And it is romantic; it is also historic.

The problem for me, and social conservatives like me, is that Barack Obama does not live in, or believe in, the same USA that I live in, believe in and love. I don't want to change it. Barack Obama can say with a straight face..."The USA is the greatest country in the world...help me change it." The trouble is that he does NOT believe that the USA is a great country...and he wants to change it dramatically. The USA that Barack Obama wants us to live in would destroy all that we hold dear, especially if we end up with Democtrats controlling the White House, Congress and the Supreme Court.

Obama has zero executive experience. He has never run a business or managed anything. And we should turn management of the USA over to him? Obama has served only 140 days in the US Senate. Prior to that he claims to have been a "Community Organizer"...which is a nice way of saying "a rabble rouser". He took time to obtain a law degree, but he has spent his entire career reminding people how bad their lives really are...how government should be helping them more...and how bad the USA really is...all in support of his own political ambition and power. He has THE most radical, left-wing voting record in Congress...he is way left of John Kerry and Ted Kennedy. I liked John F. Kennedy, but Obama would not be able to support the Democratic Party of JFK who said "Ask not what your country can do for you...rather, ask what you can do for your country". Obama has already reversed that premise...he wants to create a growing class who will vote for anyone who will support the premise that government should take care of them..can take care of them...all through the redistribution of wealth. New Orleans, for example, is a sad microcosm of that world of dependency, created by the liberal Democtratic party. They shamelssly blamed the negative effects of Katrina on President Bush...not on a sick, dependent society, devoid of individual initiative.

The USA that I live in and appreciate, is an ensign of freedom, liberty and opportunity to all nations. People from many nations are still lining up to get in legally... except for Mexicans ...but they will risk even death in the desert to get in illegally. The founding fathers had a sense that Providence was directing them. They united the individual states as "One nation...under God". They were men of principle. They believed in individual liberty...freedom to pursue personal happiness through their own initiative....and freedom of religion. They drafted a Constitution and a Bill of Rights which govern our Democtratic Republic and guarantee our rights.

The Mormon perspective is even more conservative that that of the Republican party. Mormons and liberal Democrats are hardly on the same political planet. The differences in our perspectives can be explained in one example: Conservatives want freedom OF religion...the left-wing liberals want freedom FROM religion. The Constitution guarantees the former...it does not guarantee the latter. Freedom FROM religion, taken to the extreme, would eliminate freedom OF religion...but that is the objective for many liberal social progressives. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. So-called social progressives see the Constitution as an outdated, outmoded, archaic document, which is out-of-touch with the reality in which they live...out-of-touch with their USA.

The Mormon perspective is based upon scripture, which declares that this nation is, in fact, the work of God...that God raised up and inspired men of principle and goodwill, such as the incredible John Adams (and his equally incredible wife Abigail), to create a nation where men and women would be free to participate in government...free from the tyranny of government. In particular, it was to be a nation in which a young man like Joseph Smith could declare the heavens open, that God had again spoken to man on the earth, as he had in ages past, without being burned at the stake for heresy. That he was murdered at age 39 by otherwise Christian men is only a sad commentary on the fragility of Constitutional guarantees to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Mormons and their conservative friends, are dedicated to the preservation of the Constitution. While to some it may appear to be the work of men...to us it is the work of God...it is not a document which may be changed to reflect the social decay of the times.

John McCain, who will soon be the nominee of the Republican Party, is not paticularly our man either. But he is much preferred over Obama. McCain is a self-proclaimed maverick...he is a middle-of-the roader. He satisfies neither liberals nor conservatives. To date I have not contibuted a dollar to his campain. The platform of the Republican Party proves that the Party has left conservatives like me behind. I was almost at the point of deciding not to vote in the November election. My thinking was that if enough conservatives refused to vote for McCain, he would surely lose...the country would go-to-hell-in-a-hand-basket so-to-speak...the Republican Party would need to regroup and rethink its core principles. I thought that the one thing that might reverse my position was if McCain chose Governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts as his running mate.

But then McCain announced his choice for Vice President and stunned us all. He chose Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, who is possibly the most socially conservative candidate he could have found. It was thrilling. I was aware of her accomplishments through an interview which she had with TV commentator Glenn Beck, about a month back. The liberal press, of course, never had cause to follow a social conservative like Governor Palin, who even challenged the ethics of her own Republican Party in Alaska. And she's a mother of 5...mother of a young army volunteer, who will be in Iraq in ten days...she's pro-life...she even gave birth knowingly to a child with Downs Syndrome. To me...she's an angel. Well...she fits my definition of an earth angel, which includes any woman who loves and nurtures a child with special needs.

In the weeks to come the liberal press, will tear Governor Palin apart. They have moved from any semblance of independent journalistic coverage, to openly campaigning for Obama. Sarah Palin will be viewed as a threat. The liberal press is already promoting the premise that if the US citizenry does not select Obama as its President, it will be because he is black. That is so sad. It is not true. Most Americans would vote for a black candidate, if he/she was the right candidate. Democrats, of course, made an historic choice; they selected a black man over a woman as their presidential candidate. Obama had the opportunity to make a woman his running mate. Instead he chose an old white male, whose left wing, radical views are second only to Obama's. On the other hand, McCain, the maverick, chose a woman as his running mate. Maybe we should suggest that a vote for McCain would be an historic vote for women in US politics, while a vote for Obama would be a vote against women.

If the race should come down to women vs blacks in US politics, maybe we should point out that Governor Palin is demonstrably 100% woman, while Senator Obama is only 50% black.

Kirtland, Ohio

August 23, 2008: We drove north from Pittsburgh to Kirtland, Ohio, close to Lake Erie. Kirtland was home to early Latter Day Saints from 1831 to 1838. In 2003 the LDS Church developed, restored and rebuilt some of the historical sites in and around Kirtland. They have done a great job with the restoration...but they have not done a great job publicizing their efforts. Nauvoo, Illinois gets lots of attention, but Kirtland is wonderful; it deserves more publicity. There is a great visitor center...lots of full time missionaries, especially young sister missionaries, to guide visitors through the sites.

I think we forget what happened in Kirtland...and I was not in touch with the context of the place. Less than a year after organizing the Church in New York state in 1830, Joseph Smith announced that the Lord had instructed him that the Saints should move to Kirtland. Kirtland was pretty much on the frontier in those days. Sidney Rigdon was a popular Cambellite (Baptist) minister in Kirtland. He had been preaching about the need for revelation from God and a restoration of the primitive church. When four LDS missionaries arrived in Kirtland, Sidney recognized one as his friend Parley P Pratt. He invited them to preach to his congregation. Sidney and almost his entire congregation were converted and baptized. Newell K. Whitney and his wife were among those new members. Shortly thereafter Joseph and Emma Smith arrived. 1,500 new Saints moved into Kirtland, severely straining the capacity of the community. Newell K. Whitney was one of the stallwarts who helped the new Church survive and thrive in Kirtland. We visited his store. It was built in 1826 and still stands today...now well restored.

Our son Jeff thought that the Whitney store was the highlight of the Kirtland experience. There was a special spirit about the place. Joseph and Emma had lived above the store for at least a year. Much of what we regard as revelation contained in the Doctrine & Covenants was received in that building. What we know as the School of the Prophets was held in one small room in that building. It was there that Joseph instructed his brethren in Church organization and their Priesthood responsibilities. In that room they studied the scriptures, learned Hebrew, Greek and other languages...studied the sciences, etc. I recalled from Joseph's personal writings a note which said simply..."Met with the brethren...taught them about the universe." That was astounding to me at the time. And this was a young unschooled farm boy. I'm convinced that Joseph was taught and instructed from on high.

We also visited the Kirtland Temple, which was the site of many significant Pentecostal type spiritual experiences for the early Saints. It was completed with much faith and great sacrifice, in 1836, when Joseph Smith was 30 years old. How remarkable is that? The Temple is an incredible structure, still in use today by the Community of Christ, formerly known as the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The majority of the Saints had gathered to Missouri by 1838. Most of the 2,000 Saints in Kirtland joined the 15,000 in Missouri that year. Martin Harris, who was a witness to the Book of Mormon, was one who chose to stay behind. Many years later he moved out to Utah. He is buried in Clarkston, just north of our home in Logan.

While talking with the sister missionaries, Kathie asked if by chance they knew a Sister Redd. Surprisingly they did. Myrna Redd is a good friend from our Ward in Logan. Her late husband Frank was our Bishop... I was his counselor. After Frank's passing Myrna volunteered to serve another mission. We were not sure which mission she was in...it was just a good guess on Kathie's part. (OK...I stand corrected...Kathie has a great memory) We attempted to call Myrna, but could not get past the mission office answering machine. It was actually their day off.

Monday, August 25, 2008: Kathie connected with Myrna this morning and had a long chat. Myrna confirmed the special spirit which exists in the Whitney store. Apparently new missionaries are taken to Kirtland by the Mission President. Each is allowed to spend some private time in the upper room which was the School of the Prophets. There they are encouraged to pray and dedicate their mission to the Lord. Myrna also said that at the end of their missions, missionaries are invited to return to that room in private to report their missionary experience to the Lord. So it is still considered a very special spiritual place. Jeff was very perceptive.

Impressions of Driving Across the USA

On August 17, the Wegener Family Reunion ended at Bear Lake. At 2:00 PM, that same day, Kathie and I commenced our cross-country trip to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania with Jeff and Kimi, who are off to dental school for four years. They drove a Budget rental truck...we drove their car. That night we made it to Cheyenne, Wyoming, the next to Des Moines, Iowa, the next to Youngstown, Ohio...and next morning to Pittsburgh. The first item of business was to close on their home...then unload the truck. 5 dental students, all members of the local LDS Ward, came to help. The Church in action is most impressive.

Wyoming: Wyoming is also impressive...it's big...it's wide open...it's mean. Between 1846 and 1860 about six thousands Latter Day Saints died on the trek between Nauvoo and Utah. Wyoming took the largest toll...especially during winter. People still die in Wyoming during winter crossings, even on modern highways. Wyoming weather must be respected...even feared. We have driven across Wyoming a number of times, but after this crossing, I commented to Kathie..."I'm sorry...if I had been a Mormon pioneer, and had they told me about Wyoming...I would not have gone." It is just as well that only a handful of men in the advance party of 1846/47 knew about Wyoming...and they obviously were not telling. Our admiration for those marvellous, faithful Saints has only increased.

Wind Mills: We saw hundreds (maybe thousands) of windmills in Wyoming and across the Great Plains. They were the huge kind...they must cost a fortune to purchase and install. We even saw windmill blades loaded on semis rolling down the highway to their destined spot on the landscape. The sight of endless rows of windmills was so impressive that it might make a skeptic like me believe that T. Boone Pickens and Barack Hussein Obama may be on to something that will save the planet. Well...maybe not. We did not see a single windmill turning during the entire trip. I guess the wind has to be blowing. So there were millions of dollars sitting on the plains doing nothing...not generating even a single watt. By contrast, I thought of the Intermountain Power Plant (IPP) down by Delta, Utah. Miners are employed 24/7 digging coal which, while it may be a finite resource, will never run out before science actually comes up with another reliable source of energy. The coal trains are running 24/7, transporting coal to power plants like IPP. The power plants are producing power 24/7. The whole industry employs thousands of people. Power is made available to consumers nationwide 24/7. No-one has to depend on either the wind blowing or the sun shining. That is far more impressive to me than huge windmills standing idle on the Great Plains. On the bright side, if the windmills are not turning, there would be no chance that they would be killing birds. That would actually make some people feel all warm and fuzzy, even as they sit in the dark.

Mid-Western Farms: One impression driving across the Great Plain states, was the beauty of the farms. Utah/Idaho farms, by comparison, are messy...visually unattractive. Utah/Idaho farmers have saved every piece of farm equipment and every automobile that they have ever owned. One day they are going to need something out there in the mess, I guess. In contrast, the mid-western farmers appear to take great pride in the appearance of their homesteads and groupings of farm buildings. They may have developed without much planning, but their traditional white color against surrounding green trees, fronted by acre after acre of corn fields, presented us with post-card type beauty mile after mile. We were impressed by the industry and pride of the mid-country farmers.

Truckers: Truckers are an interesting breed. They live on the highways. They own the highways. During some legs of the trip, trucks outnumbered cars 10:1. Even so, these interesting blokes, tolerate long lines at the diesel pumps, where they pay $4:50/gal...and they tolerate the rest of us who are not professional drivers. Jeff's rental truck was huge and he was obviously a novice truck driver...he had a hard time holding the truck in his lane a number of times...really scared us a few times. The truckers, on the other hand, have to know that rental trucks are being driven by novices. They gave Jeff a wide berth. Not once did we see an aggressive move by a trucker...not even a honk. Truckers deserve our respect. Who would want that job?

Budget Rental Truck: The highlight of the entire trip, from Jeff's perspective, was getting rid of the rental truck. It was not all that bad to drive on the highway...we stayed in touch with walkie-talkies...the truck did not go much over 65 at any time...but it was a pain driving in the city. It did not help that Jeff took a wrong turn into Pittsburgh. The streets were narrow...one time we did not think that he would even make it between the cars parked on each side of the road. It was more than close...from our perspective following behind, it was breathtaking. Then it was impossible to turn corners without running the rear wheels over curbs. Jeff only hit one telephone pole...it was a glancing blow, which did not damage the truck. Kathie and I held our breath at one point when Jeff had to back up to make a turn. He actually backed between two parking meters ...there was no skill involved...he had no idea that they were there. The next trial was finding a service station in Pittsburgh which had diesel fuel. We drove from station to station without luck. At one point Jeff held up a line of traffic, jockeying the truck out onto the road while Kimi guided him around a parked car. The owner of the car just stood there daring Jeff to hit it. He missed...and Kimi had to run down the road to catch Jeff...who was mightily stressed. When we finally found a service station with diesel, it was on the opposite side of a median...of course...and it was dark. When Jeff found an opening he cut through and we followed...trouble was there was nowhere to go. We thought we were turning into a street, but no...Jeff was stuck jockeying the truck back and forth...holding up traffic again. Pittsburgh drivers were not as kind, courteous and understanding as the highway truckers.

Welcome to Pittsburgh: The highlight of that evening was Kathie's attempt to go to the ladies room at the service station. This was an introduction to life in the big city. The restroom was a uni-sex type outside the station. The door was locked and a women's voice said pleasantly ..."Just a minute." Kathie waited...and waited. There was a car parked close by, with a driver in it. Kathie asked if he was waiting for someone. He said yes. Kathie continued to wait. Kimi joined her. I was watching all this unfold from a distance. I was thinking that Kathie was not going to want to go into that bathroom for a while. Finally a man ducked out of the restroom. As he went by he said "She will be out in a minute." Kimi says that she would have loved to have had a photo of Kathie at that point...her jaw had dropped...her mouth was open. Then a women walked out casually smoking a cigarette. The guys drove away...the woman got into another car...she went her way. Kathie was incredulous...she looked at Kimi and said..."They were in there having a quicky." Welcome to life in the big city. We live a sheltered life in Logan, Utah, by comparison.

Pittsburgh: The city reminds me of Sydney; the downtown area is full of interesting highrise buildings on a waterfront, the suburbs are all hills and valleys, with buildings constructed on the most unlikely sites. Of course, that makes it visually attractive, but an absolute nightmare to drive through. Coming from the west, as we do, where Brigham Young's colonizers laid out about 500 cities on a grid pattern, Pittsburgh is a nightmare of narrow roads with twists and turns. It has all of the big city freeways...even tunnels...all of which apparently exceeded their capacity about ten years ago. The areas huge steel mills closed down years ago and those sites have been redeveloped into major shopping/dining destinations...all very well done. The city is a melting pot of ethnic groups. Jeff and Kimi's neighbors came to introduce themselves. We noticed that they were proud to flaunt their ethnicity..."We're Polish"...or..."I'm Tony, your Italian neighbor." We think Jeff and Kimi are going to enjoy Pittsburgh.

The Locked Door: Would you believe it? We had not been in Jeff and Kimi's new home a day before someone forgot the key. Well...we all walked out, and as Kathie shut the front door she said... "I hope someone has a key". It was good thinking, but a tad late. We looked for an open window...borrowed a couple of ladders to check out second floor windows. It became a neighborhood project. Then we discovered that the kitchen window was unlocked. But there was a problem. It was a single-hung type...it only opened a few inches. Jeff borrowed a screw driver from a neighbor and succeeded in gaining a few more inches. Jeff tried but did not fit. Kathie made some comment about the size of his head. It was one of those situations where all eyes flashed from body to body...then all settled on Kimi. Still it was questionable. Kimi is...shall we say...well endowed...but who knew...she managed to squeeze her top half through. Jeff and I then took a leg each and pushed. Jeff was pressing down Kimi's rear end and she made it. It was interesting watching her rotate the body in the kitchen sink, but it was a painful experience which left her legs bruised. Kathie took photos and people would ask "Kimi...how did you do that?" Jeff and I decided to embellish the story, along the lines of the old BYU coed joke. We told those who asked... "It was easy...we just threw a twinkie through the window and greased her hips." I know...that's terrible.